tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14540771198281065362024-03-13T07:25:26.618-04:00Kiss My SassWhat doesn't kill you makes a killer storyMichelle Sassahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04303715905649535526noreply@blogger.comBlogger68125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1454077119828106536.post-38063056909492223222021-03-11T06:00:00.003-05:002021-03-11T06:41:16.606-05:00Magnolia, loss & lightening up<div style="text-align: left;"><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PxAB-JDUVrg/YEdtg9AayqI/AAAAAAAACA8/inZQ6FgpeEAS7qnFGfKGZVmTeFrmhe4XACLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/IMG_2373%2B2.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1427" data-original-width="2048" height="446" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PxAB-JDUVrg/YEdtg9AayqI/AAAAAAAACA8/inZQ6FgpeEAS7qnFGfKGZVmTeFrmhe4XACLcBGAsYHQ/w640-h446/IMG_2373%2B2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><br /></div><br />The last twelve months have been <i>a whole lot</i>. Which I totally predicted at the turn of the decade with my super catchy slogan: <a href="http://www.kissmysassa.com/2020/01/the-raring-20s-what-joy-will-you-create.html" target="_blank"><b>2020. The Year of Plenty</b></a>. I was definitely angling for abundance of the joyful kind, which for me would have meant chasing dreams, making moves and putting myself out there. Then Covid came and shut the whole world down and there was nowhere for me to go but inward. (Or Target but they were out of toilet paper so what was the point?) </div><div><br /></div><div>So I started embracing my inner Buddha. And I don’t just mean the Buddha belly I was growing by downing zombie apocalypse levels of carbs and tequila without the real world accountability that comes from wearing pants with zippers and buttons. Though I did make peace with that too.</div><div><br /></div><div>To distract myself from all the fear and uncertainty, I took a mind-shifting online course called <a href="https://www.coursera.org/learn/the-science-of-well-being" target="_blank">The Science of Well-being</a>, binged <a href="https://jayshetty.me/podcast/" target="_blank">On Purpose podcasts</a> from former monk Jay Shetty, read mindfulness books by renowned monk <a href="https://plumvillage.org/about/thich-nhat-hanh/" target="_blank">Thich Nhat Hanh</a> and evolved my meditating from a nightly cure for insomnia to something I actually tried to stay awake for.</div><div><br /></div><div>During this spiritual deep dive, one of the zen concepts I worked hard on was the practice of detachment. Which means going with the flow, not stressing about desired outcomes and doing things just for the joy of doing them, not for the “success” or acclaim they might bring. Which is as easy as waking up and telling yourself you’re happy—about five million times on a loop. All while ignoring the outside noise, life fuckery and other voices in your head trying to make you think otherwise.</div><div><br /></div><div><div>This practice is best summed up by the buddhists as, “You gotta let that shit go.”</div></div><div><br /></div><div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9QfKdsYxFYI/YEbEdIGxsHI/AAAAAAAACAM/TwE49asB3Qkhx1ksxt0uUKXC-_DM2REpACLcBGAsYHQ/s244/detachment.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="244" data-original-width="207" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9QfKdsYxFYI/YEbEdIGxsHI/AAAAAAAACAM/TwE49asB3Qkhx1ksxt0uUKXC-_DM2REpACLcBGAsYHQ/w271-h320/detachment.jpg" width="271" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>All my new jedi mind tricks were really working, I was living more in the moment and unchaining the past. Then <i>Magnolia Journal</i> came knocking to interview me for a story about setbacks. And of course I’ve got failure stories, anyone who’s ever tried to achieve anything inevitably has. But there was one failure in particular I’d been reluctant to even think about. The scars were too deep.</div><div><br /></div><div>Did I have the courage to address this defeat, could I detach from the disappointment and say the words out loud?</div><div><br /></div><div>2020 was a year of loss for all of us. From losing loved ones and lost jobs to cancelled plans and the very loss of the freedoms that made our lives whole. Meditating on all this, I took a hard sip of my tequila and realized, “Eff it,” I had nothing left to lose.</div><div><br /></div><div>So I said yes to the scary interview. I talked about the book I didn’t sell that you’ll probably never read. And you know what? Much like with this pandemic, the world did not end. My head was <a href="http://www.kissmysassa.com/2014/11/bloody-but-unbowed.html" target="_blank">bloody but unbowed</a>—I’d made it to the other side.</div><div><br /></div><div>I feel so much lighter I can even button my pants now. (okay, that might be because I’ve eased up on the potato chips and hard liquor, but still.)</div><div><br /></div><div>You can read my story in the spring issue of <i><a href="https://shop.magnolia.com/collections/magnolia-journal/products/magnolia-journal-spring-2021" target="_blank">Magnolia Journal</a></i> or see an excerpt <a href="https://michellesassa.com/magnolia-journal-time-spent-creating/" target="_blank">here</a>. </div><div><br /></div><div>As we note the anniversary of the day Covid put our lives on pause, I hope you have found strength in your own resilience. Uncertainty will always be reality but the setbacks pave our way forward. </div><div><br /></div><div>It’s time to let go of what we lost, get back up and get out there. Which brings me to my motto for <i>this</i> year: </div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><b>2021. Eff It, Let’s Have Fun</b>.</span></div><div><br /></div><div>Feel free to tattoo it on your own buddha belly 😉</div></div><div><br /></div></div><h4><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><span style="color: #666666;">If you like this story, please share it with everyone you know—it will totally win you karma points. And don't miss a post! <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=KissMySassa" target="_blank">Subscribe by Email</a> or find me on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/kissmysassa" target="_blank">Facebook</a>.</span> </span></h4><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Michelle Sassahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04303715905649535526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1454077119828106536.post-67430395126415746882020-04-11T12:35:00.000-04:002020-04-13T09:00:19.430-04:00Quarantined with mice: We’re all doing the best we can.<h4>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">In our new normal, dough is the new sign of wealth. Not the green kind, but the bread kind we need to feed our families—and right now, it’s especially precious and scarce. So imagine my horror a few days ago to open my bread drawer and find a gaping hole in the bag that packaged my Arnold 100% Whole Wheat, and an alarming number of the slices were half-chewed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">Friends, don’t tell the government, but it turns out I had house guests. And after weeks of being forced to keep my distance from strangers, having to share the home that had become my sanctuary with a family of rodents was more than horrifying, it was <a href="http://www.kissmysassa.com/2018/06/the-threat-down-hall.html" target="_blank">too close for comfort</a>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">I don’t have to tell you how hard it has been to procure groceries to keep my ever hungry brood fed, the late night maneuverings to nab a delivery slot and the silent prayers hoping that when the delivery day finally comes, the store will actually have the perishables we need in stock. So as my husband went to war setting up a perimeter of mousetraps to defend our food supply, I did what any mama in my circumstance would do. I poured myself another tequila and cried. Like, hysterically. </span></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">The day before, the governor had shut all of New Jersey’s parks and woods <i>right as Spring Break was starting.</i> There was no place to go. Nothing to do except hunker down. The internet meme I’d printed out and taped to my fridge said, “You’re not stuck at home. You’re safe at home.” Except now I wasn’t. Virus outside, mice inside. I couldn’t leave but I wanted to be anywhere but here.</span></h4>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">Well, those mousetraps that I’d reluctantly agreed to let my husband slather in precious peanut butter were worth the condiment sacrifice because right away, <i>SNAP</i>, we caught one, and the guy was huge. So was the next mouse we caught soon after. And that should have been a comfort, right? They were taking the bait. <a href="http://www.kissmysassa.com/2019/03/go-team-why-cheering-for-others-raises.html" target="_blank">The humans were winning</a>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">But then that evening we nestled into the family room that opens into our kitchen to watch a movie and all we kept hearing was <i>SNAP SNAP SNAP</i>. Mother of god, was this an infestation? I cried some more and wondered if I would make it out alive.</span></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">Within the span of a day, we caught eight mice. Enough of a death toll to suggest a spike. In a time when the <a href="http://www.kissmysassa.com/2020/03/loving-thy-neighborhood-businesses.html" target="_blank">restaurants we live near are all closed</a> and the rodents who depend on them are starving, would we ever be able to flatten the curve?</span></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">But I woke up today and there were no mice in the traps. No more droppings. All the food that had been in our pantry when we’d gone to bed was still intact. My husband declared victory (perhaps prematurely?), saying, “I think it was just a family, and we got them all.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">And of course there was relief and hope, but there was also sadness. If it was just one family of mice, it was <i>their</i> family. Their only crime, hunger, their only flaw, being a bunch of notches lower than us on the food chain. With that perspective, I made peace with the problem. Maybe the worst of it is over, maybe like the bigger reality our whole world is in, we’ll just have to wait and see. </span></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">Those mice were trying to survive just like my family is. And I cannot blame them. Right now, we’re all doing the best we can.</span></div>
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Don't miss a post! <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=TheFeminineMystake" target="_blank">Subscribe by Email</a> or find me on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/kissmysassa" target="_blank">Facebook</a>.</h4>
Michelle Sassahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04303715905649535526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1454077119828106536.post-52154088949918910142020-03-17T13:44:00.002-04:002020-03-17T14:41:44.797-04:00Loving thy neighborhood businesses: A lesson in crisis communications<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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Hi friends. I hope everyone is doing well and finding ways to keep your minds healthy, in addition to your families. I am finding so much hope and joy in the good deeds of my neighbors and trying to not let bad behavior get to me. But it’s hard when I get emails in my inbox like the one from a hotel in Myrtle Beach advertising their <b>EASTER GETAWAY DEALS!!</b> As if any of us can plan three weeks ahead let alone tomorrow.<br>
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Or the sales alert I got from a local clothing store telling me <b>NOW IS THE TIME TO STOCK UP ON SPRING FASHIONS!</b> Uhm, really? It’s kind of like my daughter's remark about getting dressed for virtual school: "<i>What exactly is the point when my friends can’t see me?"</i><br>
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My disgust is that much worse when I get shallow communications from a national brand that should really know better.<br>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">As if the biggest thing on our minds right now <br>
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My gut response has been to want to fire off nasty emails to these businesses and brand-shame them for being so insensitive and tone deaf. But the world doesn’t need more negativity right now. And I realize small businesses are scared. They need our sales and support to keep the lights on, and not everyone has the cash flow to close their doors and weather this. Nor do the mom and pop shops have an entire crisis communications team at their disposal like the big brands do, advising them on the right moves to make. <br>
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Our local retailers have never been through an experience of this magnitude, none of us have, so I feel compelled to extend not just compassion but also marketing advice from my experience developing brand and content strategy for companies big and small. <br>
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Think about the range of emotions your customers may be going through. Don’t overlook that and act like business as usual. Now is not the time for Sell Sell Sell. How can you help make your customers lives better? What expertise do you have or what services can you provide that you can offer for the greater good? Got a joke to share or want to distract us? You can if you use the right tone and don't ignore the pandemic in the room.<br>
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<a href="http://www.kissmysassa.com/2020/03/loving-thy-neighborhood-businesses.html#more"></a>Michelle Sassahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04303715905649535526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1454077119828106536.post-77049534220137352832020-01-11T12:21:00.000-05:002020-01-18T16:30:05.772-05:00The Raring 20’s: What joy will you create this decade?<h4>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Every year I like to think of a slogan to encapsulate my vision for the next 365 days. Last year was ‘Living the dream in 2019.’ Before that, I was ‘Starting off clean in 2018.’ And I can't forget this nugget of poetic wordsmithing: ‘Everything’s great in 2008.’</span><br><br><span style="font-weight: normal;">But now there is a whole new decade ahead of us. At once it feels vast, overwhelming, and ripe with opportunity. How to quantify that? </span></span></h4>
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</h4><a href="http://www.kissmysassa.com/2020/01/the-raring-20s-what-joy-will-you-create.html#more"></a>Michelle Sassahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04303715905649535526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1454077119828106536.post-36790461157542435172019-11-16T00:01:00.000-05:002019-11-16T08:27:46.614-05:00Move over Michael Jordan, I've got my own shoe!<h4>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br>I am a superstar in my own mind, and this was recently confirmed when I learned I inspired a sneaker.<br><br>Just like Michael Jordan, LeBron James, and Kobe Bryant, y’all. Big time!<br><br><i>But Michelle, you’re not even a pro athlete, say the naysayers.</i><br><br>Skk skkk skkk.<br><br>I can explain.</span><br>
</h4><a href="http://www.kissmysassa.com/2019/11/move-over-michael-jordan-ive-got-my-own.html#more"></a>Michelle Sassahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04303715905649535526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1454077119828106536.post-36834163652868098072019-05-15T00:01:00.001-04:002022-07-22T07:46:06.814-04:00Everyone loves Abby: Behind the scenes with Wambach, leader of the Wolfpack<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>“Here we go,”</i> I whispered to my director and producer as we stood on the porch of Abby Wambach’s home, my fist just about to knock on the door of one of the most prolific female athletes of our time.<br>
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A soccer player myself, I was a fangirl about to meet a legend. Ramaa, Hope and I had been invited to Wambach’s house because we were shooting a commercial with the icon, her wife and their daughters. The three of us were nervous. But I was about to discover we had no reason to be.<br>
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Sure, she is #20, the Scoringest Pro Soccer Player Ever (girls and guys).<br>
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Yeah, she once had to get her head stapled back together during a World Cup qualifier <i>and kept playing</i>.<br>
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And of course Abby’s also a badass off the field, fighting for the U.S. Women’s National Soccer team to get equal pay, sharing her story of resilience in her memoir <i>Forward</i>, and inspiring all women to come together and lead in her brand new book, <i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/WOLFPACK-Together-Unleash-Power-Change/dp/1250217709/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=wolfpack&qid=1557347136&s=gateway&sr=8-2" target="_blank">Wolfpack</a>.</i><br>
<a href="http://www.kissmysassa.com/2019/05/everyone-loves-abby-behind-scenes-with.html#more"></a>Michelle Sassahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04303715905649535526noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1454077119828106536.post-43419468442168532662019-03-27T19:15:00.000-04:002019-03-28T08:16:43.714-04:00Politically incorrect family April Fool's pranks<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-XQ7lz7jLew4/XJy60qmzGOI/AAAAAAAABVE/dFRIb2TNexkPUqWONdZMa4LxmTHUon05ACLcBGAs/s1600/Politically%2Bincorrect.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="512" data-original-width="1024" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-XQ7lz7jLew4/XJy60qmzGOI/AAAAAAAABVE/dFRIb2TNexkPUqWONdZMa4LxmTHUon05ACLcBGAs/s640/Politically%2Bincorrect.png" width="640"></a></div>
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In my household, we take our holidays pretty seriously. For Halloween, we creep out the lawn with life size monsters, a graveyard and a kids playhouse we converted into a haunted house. There’s even scary music blaring from the porch speakers that makes toddlers rethink how badly they want free candy. Christmas gets the full Chevy Chase holiday light experience – even indoors – and we’ve got a snow village the size of a small village under our tree, with a Polar Express railroad encircling it. As one does. We even invented a holiday, Cousin’s Day, that we’ve been celebrating with our relatives every summer for the last 14 years and counting.</div>
<br>
But the holiday that Team Sassa has elevated to an art form is April Fool’s. A day that’s sole purpose is to pull pranks on unsuspecting victims? Sign us up. Talk about the perfect occasion to showcase my family’s sick sense of humor, poor sense of boundaries, and healthy desire to build resiliency in each other.<br>
<br>
Here are some of the epic (if not always appropriate) pranks we’ve pulled over the years. Use for your own inspiration. Or as cautionary tale. <a href="http://www.kissmysassa.com/2015/04/the-that-wont-be-us-illusion.html" target="_blank">Don’t judge me</a> and I won’t judge you.<br>
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</div><a href="http://www.kissmysassa.com/2019/03/april-fools-pranks.html#more"></a>Michelle Sassahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04303715905649535526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1454077119828106536.post-2068322923459179602019-03-22T05:59:00.000-04:002019-05-10T06:56:51.396-04:00Go Team! Why cheering for others raises your own game<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-k4YzwSvwMjM/XIsDEXU_-iI/AAAAAAAABO0/g7x1w-MOtIki1x3qKC5yu7Qrg7G-kuBTQCLcBGAs/s1600/Screen%2BShot%2B2019-03-14%2Bat%2B9.32.07%2BPM.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="836" data-original-width="1600" height="334" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-k4YzwSvwMjM/XIsDEXU_-iI/AAAAAAAABO0/g7x1w-MOtIki1x3qKC5yu7Qrg7G-kuBTQCLcBGAs/s640/Screen%2BShot%2B2019-03-14%2Bat%2B9.32.07%2BPM.jpg" width="640"></a></div>
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I was not the star kid on my soccer team. Shocker, I know, considering the size of my thighs (Schwarzenegger-ish) and the way I strut around like Team Captain, doling out nonstop direction: <i>“Pass the ball! Take the shot! Put your dish in the dishwasher!”</i><br>
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Still, once a week you’ll find me running around a real soccer field with a group of real “soccer moms,” burning off bad carb choices and the incessant demands of spawn and spouses. To see <a href="http://www.kissmysassa.com/2014/11/bloody-but-unbowed.html" target="_blank">me in my pickup league</a>, blasting shots past the goalie’s face with a force that makes her eyelash extensions flinch, you’d never know that back in my travel team days, I sometimes spent half the game on the bench.<br>
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You <i>might</i> know that I just wrote some <a href="https://michellesassa.com/portfolio-posts/cheer-for-all-of-us/" target="_blank">soccer commercials</a>. There’s one playing on your YouTube right now with Team USA captain Alex Morgan that is all about cheering. What follows is the short yet still-convoluted story of how that commercial came to be.<br>
<a href="http://www.kissmysassa.com/2019/03/go-team-why-cheering-for-others-raises.html#more"></a>Michelle Sassahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04303715905649535526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1454077119828106536.post-33109546766567547202019-03-05T11:12:00.000-05:002019-03-05T11:28:28.104-05:00From Boys Club to Girls Team<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://tinyurl.com/Ad-Girls-Beat-Boys-Club" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="415" data-original-width="600" height="275" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TgnTYMN1rX0/XH6ajZZ_HXI/AAAAAAAABOE/vAGJ-zyor_wv1qdsP0xUKqdd413ZOy4OgCLcBGAs/s400/Dreamteam_blogger.jpeg" width="400" /></a><b></b></div>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-weight: normal;">My creative partner and I both launched our advertising careers at a notorious boys club, both hired by a hotshot CD who has since, only quite recently, been outed in the media for his toxic culture and penchant for broism</span><span style="font-weight: normal;">. </span>Since ditching that scene to go freelance, Karen and I sometimes wondered aloud what would have happened to our careers if we'd stayed at that ad agency.<br />
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Last fall, we had the chance to find out. <a href="https://tinyurl.com/Ad-Girls-Beat-Boys-Club" target="_blank">Read the full story on Medium</a>.<br />
<h4>
</h4>
Michelle Sassahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04303715905649535526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1454077119828106536.post-91057502766236271482019-02-10T12:05:00.000-05:002019-02-10T12:11:32.169-05:00Remember that time I wrote a book?<div class="MsoNormal">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5INV8qDMDCQ/XFX9nY4lk7I/AAAAAAAABHs/bh-XPQ5-aOg_JEfeuE5j-B1l91C1KhHUgCLcBGAs/s1600/Murphy%2BGift%2B-%2BVersion%2B2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="798" data-original-width="908" height="350" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5INV8qDMDCQ/XFX9nY4lk7I/AAAAAAAABHs/bh-XPQ5-aOg_JEfeuE5j-B1l91C1KhHUgCLcBGAs/s400/Murphy%2BGift%2B-%2BVersion%2B2.jpg" width="400"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"You get a copy! And you get a copy! Everybody gets a copy!"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
A few years ago, my first novel was published. <i>Copygirl</i>. And all was magic in the world. Friends and family cheered, respected book people wrote <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Copygirl-Anna-Mitchael-ebook/dp/B00SI02G2E" target="_blank">nice reviews</a> and girls who were mean to me in high school got so jealous they started badmouthing me all over again.<br>
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Oprah even picked up a copy (in a photo-shopped pic my old creative partner made for me 😂).<br>
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During that hullaballoo, I kept writing. A second novel. Then a third. And friends and family kept asking: <i>When is your next book coming out? When can I read it?</i><br>
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</div><a href="http://www.kissmysassa.com/2019/02/remember-that-time-i-wrote-book.html#more"></a>Michelle Sassahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04303715905649535526noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1454077119828106536.post-31236828014063654742018-06-01T00:01:00.000-04:002019-02-03T07:14:48.634-05:00The threat down the hall<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KDW2V9FWf9o/WwX4R7z7C3I/AAAAAAAABC8/7YOxFXGztBYD-HXpJ6y52sCqy0T8ICRBACLcBGAs/s1600/heels%2Bdown%2Bthe%2Bhall.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="401" data-original-width="584" height="272" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KDW2V9FWf9o/WwX4R7z7C3I/AAAAAAAABC8/7YOxFXGztBYD-HXpJ6y52sCqy0T8ICRBACLcBGAs/s400/heels%2Bdown%2Bthe%2Bhall.jpg" width="400"></a></div>
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Anyone who’s met me knows I’m all about supporting women. My
<a href="http://www.kissmysassa.com/2019/02/remember-that-time-i-wrote-book.html" target="_blank">first novel’s</a> got a pink cover, for
clit’s sake, and its title even features the word <i>g<span style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">irl</span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">.</i> Few things give me greater joy than being there for my gal
pals and cheering on the sisterhood. I rise, you rise, rising boats and all
that shemale shish-kumbaya.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But lately, I’ve been dealing with some stiff sister
competition from a place I never expected. And my first instinct is to keep this
chick down and put her back in her place.</div>
<a href="http://www.kissmysassa.com/2018/06/the-threat-down-hall.html#more"></a>Michelle Sassahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04303715905649535526noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1454077119828106536.post-11993044295354458212017-06-26T13:04:00.000-04:002019-02-03T16:12:11.016-05:00The Fun Mom<h4 style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: -webkit-standard; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Cvpb1Lbnbbc/VY1wDnFD_vI/AAAAAAAAArM/2ONWQd6wAf0/s1600/fun%2Bmom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Cvpb1Lbnbbc/VY1wDnFD_vI/AAAAAAAAArM/2ONWQd6wAf0/s400/fun%2Bmom.jpg" width="302"></a></div>
</h4>
<h4>
<span style="font-weight: normal;">Around here, Mom gets a bum rap. Dad is the fun one, doing all the tickling and wrestling and ball-throwing in the house. I’m that shadow in the background sweeping up the shards of the vase they just knocked over.</span></h4>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-weight: normal;">I even call my husband ‘Daddy Funtime,’ sneering as I say this to fully articulate that this is meant to be a </span><i style="font-weight: normal;">negative</i><span style="font-weight: normal;"> connotation. </span></div>
<h4>
</h4><a href="http://www.kissmysassa.com/2017/06/the-fun-mom.html#more"></a>Michelle Sassahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04303715905649535526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1454077119828106536.post-69486778536184313722017-03-10T00:01:00.000-05:002019-02-03T07:24:42.145-05:00Going Back to College<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-L2cicqgY6mc/WL8vR4kBVCI/AAAAAAAAA_Y/pMfNlNZX_hAE0LaJjejJ2sXaffvIV8E6gCLcB/s1600/IMG_6495%2B-%2BVersion%2B2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-L2cicqgY6mc/WL8vR4kBVCI/AAAAAAAAA_Y/pMfNlNZX_hAE0LaJjejJ2sXaffvIV8E6gCLcB/s400/IMG_6495%2B-%2BVersion%2B2.jpg" width="245"></a></div>
What I can actually remember of my college partying days was pretty awesome. So when my 19-year-old niece invited me to accompany her mother, a mutual friend and her teen daughter to her sorority’s Mom’s Weekend at Indiana University, I was all like, Yaaasss! (Because that's what the sorority girls say now, don’t they? Pretty sure I read that on the Chapsnat.)<br>
<a href="http://www.kissmysassa.com/2017/03/going-back-to-college.html#more"></a>Michelle Sassahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04303715905649535526noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1454077119828106536.post-31501155517230691882017-02-17T00:01:00.001-05:002021-03-20T09:52:43.915-04:00The Writing On My Walls<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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It’s not much of a reach to say I am a big fan of manifestos
and slogans. After all, I’ve <a href="https://michellesassa.com/portfolio-posts/new-york-road-runners/" target="_blank">made a career out of creating them.</a> But recently I
was reminded of my obsession with the written word when a guest remarked that
she was getting a kick out of reading the signs I had all over my house. <o:p></o:p></div>
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“Oh, are you talking about <i>this</i> one?” I asked, showing her the newly framed quote I’d just
hung in my first floor "Zen" bathroom: <i><b>Happiness is a
Decision.</b></i><o:p></o:p></div>
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“No…” she laughed. “The sign hanging by your bar. <i><b>Take me Drunk. I’m Home.</b>”</i></div>
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<a href="http://www.kissmysassa.com/2017/02/the-writing-on-my-walls.html#more"></a>Michelle Sassahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04303715905649535526noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1454077119828106536.post-66617161208258063402016-11-23T00:01:00.000-05:002019-02-05T12:33:44.264-05:00Teach Kids Gratitude and (Maybe) Someday They'll Thank You<h3>
</h3>
<h4>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DM35RLKLBPk/UtiehWAktGI/AAAAAAAAAJw/mpJR6wht2YI/s1600/gratitude+post.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; display: inline !important; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img alt="help children be happy with what they have, michelle sassa, feminine mystake" border="0" height="306" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DM35RLKLBPk/UtiehWAktGI/AAAAAAAAAJw/mpJR6wht2YI/s400/gratitude+post.jpg" title="teach your kids gratitude and someday they'll thank you" width="400"></a></div>
We’ve nicknamed my daughter “Ms. More” because, since the day she was born, she's always angled to get more than she has. If I agree to let her have one cookie, she immediately wants two. Before I’m even done reading her a bedtime story, she’s already asking for another. <br>
<br>
Recently, I was discussing plans for her 8th birthday with my husband when he remarked, “It doesn’t matter what you do. She won’t appreciate it anyway.”<br>
</div><a href="http://www.kissmysassa.com/2013/11/teach-your-kids-gratitude-and-someday.html#more"></a>Michelle Sassahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04303715905649535526noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1454077119828106536.post-15515902399705200772016-09-23T00:01:00.000-04:002019-02-03T07:28:10.029-05:00Ducking the Mamarazzi<div class="MsoNormal">
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lzNkR8miqV0/V-Fm1fzHIkI/AAAAAAAAA78/cDIaSRWLU20j6Kftm1orBjQWDiaFRhaSwCLcB/s1600/woman-blocking-camera-with-hands.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lzNkR8miqV0/V-Fm1fzHIkI/AAAAAAAAA78/cDIaSRWLU20j6Kftm1orBjQWDiaFRhaSwCLcB/s400/woman-blocking-camera-with-hands.jpg" width="335"></a></div>
<span style="color: #171515; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Whenever
an old high school chum sends me a friend request, I run to her Facebook page
to see what she looks like now, and (fine, I can admit this), how I look in
comparison. Has she also traded in her Sun-In for Gray Away? Would I still
recognize her without her Champion sweatshirt and spiral perm held up by eight
cans of Aqua Net?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br></div>
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<span style="color: #171515; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Often,
these women will have a snapshot of their kids as their profile picture, and
they are noticeably absent from all their online albums too. Where have all my
old friends gone since becoming moms? Our biggest complaint is that we feel
invisible, yet we’re the ones who have taken ourselves out of the picture.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br>
</div><a href="http://www.kissmysassa.com/2016/09/ducking-mamarazzi.html#more"></a>Michelle Sassahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04303715905649535526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1454077119828106536.post-84676203275018891792016-09-02T01:05:00.000-04:002019-02-06T15:58:59.497-05:00What Moms Want More Than Sex<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nLmrPvruaws/V8kACs45gBI/AAAAAAAAA68/ztNlWFTajzs7mgsBnZW4qnx7URvNv5YGgCLcB/s1600/coffee.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nLmrPvruaws/V8kACs45gBI/AAAAAAAAA68/ztNlWFTajzs7mgsBnZW4qnx7URvNv5YGgCLcB/s320/coffee.png" width="246"></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">"</span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large; font-style: italic;">Hot sex is good. Hot
coffee is even better.</span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I used to lust over hard pecs and slow kisses. Three kids
and two thousand sleepless nights later, here are a few of the things I’ve
found myself fantasizing about: </div>
<h4>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-weight: normal;">1. <u>Scotch tape</u><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;">Just one roll that is mine all
mine, that is always in the exact place I left it, instead of under a kid’s bed
or inexplicably, buried halfway down the Lego bin. And if am actually able to
find the edge where the tape begins, I might just orgasm</span><span style="font-weight: normal;"> on the spot.</span></div>
</h4><a href="http://www.kissmysassa.com/2016/09/what-moms-want-more-than-sex.html#more"></a>Michelle Sassahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04303715905649535526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1454077119828106536.post-81164996231278008542016-07-30T00:01:00.000-04:002019-02-03T08:11:01.468-05:00Why I Want A Wife<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-p6Yufrpo2MM/V5yUy_wts2I/AAAAAAAAA6Y/XS3Q1eEKXisHr062ICQ4N0I84dHISwTtACLcB/s1600/why%2Bi%2Bwant%2Ba%2Bwife.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="227" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-p6Yufrpo2MM/V5yUy_wts2I/AAAAAAAAA6Y/XS3Q1eEKXisHr062ICQ4N0I84dHISwTtACLcB/s400/why%2Bi%2Bwant%2Ba%2Bwife.png" width="400"></a></div>
My son’s friend has two moms. They share the house chores
and also share a business, so over the years have taken turns being the working
mom or the one who stays at home. To me, their setup sounded better than being
married to a doctor who does Botox. And it made me insanely jealous.<br>
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;">
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The only thing better than having one mom, I realized, was
having two. Here I’d been raised up singing, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Someday my prince will come,”</i> when really I should have been
wishing for a wife. If only that was the way my heart swung, so many hiccups
could have been avoided. My marriage is a case of opposites attract, but what I
need now is someone else with a skillset of…well….me. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Imagine having someone who knows where you left your
sunglasses, what you really want for your birthday (and it’s not another gift
card), how to keep their mouth shut when you’re watching <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Younger.</i> A wife would keep the pinot coming and only ask questions
during commercials.<br>
</div><a href="http://www.kissmysassa.com/2016/07/why-i-want-wife.html#more"></a>Michelle Sassahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04303715905649535526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1454077119828106536.post-85727005580281521402016-05-24T00:01:00.000-04:002019-03-22T08:52:07.655-04:00Your Kid Sucks. So Shut Up.<h4>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">There is some kind of Newtonian law that the more a kid sucks at a sport, the more vocal his parents are on the sidelines. Often, this coincides with Galileo’s hypothesis that these are precisely the same parents who are “experts” at the game being conducted, though they have never coached and never played a sport in their life. A handful never even played on the chess team. </span><br><br>
<span style="font-weight: normal;">My high school physics is fuzzy, but I am pretty sure they call this the law of inertia.</span><br>
</h4><a href="http://www.kissmysassa.com/2016/05/your-kid-sucks-so-shut-up.html#more"></a>Michelle Sassahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04303715905649535526noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1454077119828106536.post-18735329125880472832016-05-06T00:01:00.000-04:002019-02-03T16:39:59.573-05:00REALLY Creative Ways to Show Mom Love<h4>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wqhMYrPz1Lg/VytRmEtN3UI/AAAAAAAAA1s/JMH0iKybe246WVeJwmVaVh75fQWpjZMXQCLcB/s1600/thank-you-mom3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="332" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wqhMYrPz1Lg/VytRmEtN3UI/AAAAAAAAA1s/JMH0iKybe246WVeJwmVaVh75fQWpjZMXQCLcB/s400/thank-you-mom3.jpg" width="400"></a></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">Because I am such a big deal <i>(insert laughing noises here)</i> the folks at FTD sent me a list of creative ways to show mom gratitude on Mother's Day, thinking I may want to share it with you, my lovely readers. </span><br>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">And, really, it was so sweet of them, because now I get to have the day off swigging mimosas, instead of racking my brain wondering what to write about. </span><br>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">You can see FTD's full list of mom thank you ideas <a href="https://www.ftd.com/blog/share/thank-you-mom" target="_blank">here</a>, but I'm highlighting a few of my faves below with my own creative improvements, on the outside chance my husband may read this or that you want to print it out and post it on your fridge. </span><br>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">Or better yet, stick it on your children's iPads. No chance they will miss it there.</span></h4><a href="http://www.kissmysassa.com/2016/05/really-creative-ways-to-show-mom-love.html#more"></a>Michelle Sassahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04303715905649535526noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1454077119828106536.post-1639324407340493672016-04-16T00:01:00.000-04:002019-02-03T16:44:02.692-05:00The Art of I Don't Care<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BAbNU8XV3dE/Vw-3YuGBUPI/AAAAAAAAA1I/cIMl68BE6XM_GvXUqSJMC2sRiSwmkzRSgCLcB/s1600/dont%2Bcare%2B2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BAbNU8XV3dE/Vw-3YuGBUPI/AAAAAAAAA1I/cIMl68BE6XM_GvXUqSJMC2sRiSwmkzRSgCLcB/s400/dont%2Bcare%2B2.jpg" width="297"></a></div>
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Yesterday I was sitting in the dentist chair, mouth splayed open
like a crime scene, with that spit-slurping wand sucking up all my dignity as
the overzealous hygienist told me I needed to floss better. And as she showed
me exactly how to jam that unholy wax string up and around my hemorrhaging
gums, I nodded at her as if to say, “Why yes, absolutely, I’ll do that, of
course!” <o:p></o:p></div>
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But between you and me, that is never going to happen, and
you wanna know why?</div>
<a href="http://www.kissmysassa.com/2016/04/the-art-of-i-dont-care.html#more"></a>Michelle Sassahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04303715905649535526noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1454077119828106536.post-31193670659789385802016-02-13T00:01:00.000-05:002019-02-05T12:37:15.630-05:00Find It In You<br>
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I have this quote hanging in my bedroom, beneath a ledge I call my dream shelf:<br>
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<b>“Don’t wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get, you’ve got to make yourself.”</b></div>
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I can’t remember where I first saw it. Could have been a fortune cookie. Or a Facebook post. More likely, it was in a dentist office copy of <i>O</i>, the Oprah Magazine, tucked between pages touting Nate Berkus pillows and kale salad recipes.<br>
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</div><a href="http://www.kissmysassa.com/2016/02/find-it-in-you.html#more"></a>Michelle Sassahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04303715905649535526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1454077119828106536.post-50019358667601289022016-01-02T09:11:00.001-05:002019-02-05T12:49:03.322-05:00Forget the Resolutions and Have an Attitude Adjustment Instead<h3>
Let’s all resolve to stop whining and start thinking positive before I smack you.</h3>
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It’s resolution time again, and everyone I know is concocting their admirable, if not impossible, goals for the New Year:<br>
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“I’m going to lose 50 pounds. By February.”<br>
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“I’m going to climb Mt. Kiliminjaro. Twice.”<br>
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”I’m going to stop drunk online shopping.”<br>
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Whew. All these lofty goals make me wanna veg on my couch with a bag of chips and a martini, surfing the net for sales. This year, I’m proposing a simpler change: how about we all make a vow to stop whining and start thinking positive?<br>
<a href="http://www.kissmysassa.com/2016/01/forget-resolutions-have-attitude.html#more"></a>Michelle Sassahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04303715905649535526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1454077119828106536.post-60153802008834047282015-12-12T00:01:00.000-05:002019-02-05T12:58:05.826-05:00Passing the Baton<h4>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">I’ve been running for a longer time than I have the brain cells to remember, but I must have started around my oldest son’s age. Which would have made me a middle schooler. What I do remember in mental high-def was getting up super early before school—while it was still dark out—and cracking an egg into a glass, which I would drink before my run, its sliminess tempered by the dash of vermouth my dad suggested I add. </span><br>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">Yes, this was the early eighties, and Rocky Balboa was my idol in all his raw egg chugging glory. And over the years, I can’t tell you how many times I have run up stairs or a hill imagining I was the Italian Stallion on his famous sprint up the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art, the chords to “Gonna Fly Now” blasting through my head. Once, I even ran up those iconic steps myself, throwing my arms up in triumph when I got to the top.</span></h4>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">But lately my runs have been harder and shorter, with me feeling more like the aging Rocky from his latest movie, <i>Creed</i>, and the only sound between my ears is the recurring ring of a four-letter word. STOP. </span></h4>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">I can’t help but wonder if I’m approaching the end of the line of finish lines.</span><br>
</h4><a href="http://www.kissmysassa.com/2015/12/passing-baton.html#more"></a>Michelle Sassahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04303715905649535526noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1454077119828106536.post-35436140860596045822015-11-04T00:01:00.000-05:002019-02-06T14:59:29.346-05:00How To Brainstorm A Book<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">So this is the thing. We didn’t actually start out writing a hilarious book about a twenty-something young woman searching for herself in the halls of an advertising agency. At first it was going to be a mystery with a male hero who goes looking for a troupe of dentists that kidnapped his pet walrus.</span><br>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">Michelle and I outlined the idea, then took it into an ad agency and we were like ‘HEY GUYS!’ (We screamed because it’s always really loud in ad agencies. You think it’s going to be quiet because, after all, aren’t these people being paid to think? But thinking only takes up 2% of every hour. The other 98% of the minutes are the preparation for thinking—the stretching of the legs, the shooting of the shit, the playing of the ping pong. Loud stuff.)</span></div>
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</div><a href="http://www.kissmysassa.com/2015/11/how-to-brainstorm-book.html#more"></a>Michelle Sassahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04303715905649535526noreply@blogger.com4