Goldilocks And The Three Butts

I've been in my house for 12 years, which means all our toilets are starting to go. Tired of having to plunge malfunctioning bowls, my husband recently asked me if I could buy thinner toilet paper. Apparently all that cushiony softness we were paying extra for was clogging the loo and he wanted it to stop. It's bad enough my three kids each use ten squares to do the job of two.

Yippee! I Got An Agent!

Some news is so big, you just want to scream it from the rooftops. Stuff like, "I lost my virginity!" or "I'm getting married!" or "We had a baby!"

Cherry-popping aside, those other life events are okay to broadcast because it's universally known that people will be happy for you–or act like they are. Then there's the kind of news I recently got which is more personal, and requires people know you or the situation well enough to know exactly how big that news is for you.