Ducking the Mamarazzi

Whenever an old high school chum sends me a friend request, I run to her Facebook page to see what she looks like now, and (fine, I can admit this), how I look in comparison. Has she also traded in her Sun-In for Gray Away? Would I still recognize her without her Champion sweatshirt and spiral perm held up by eight cans of Aqua Net?

Often, these women will have a snapshot of their kids as their profile picture, and they are noticeably absent from all their online albums too. Where have all my old friends gone since becoming moms? Our biggest complaint is that we feel invisible, yet we’re the ones who have taken ourselves out of the picture.

What Moms Want More Than Sex

"Hot sex is good. Hot coffee is even better."

I used to lust over hard pecs and slow kisses. Three kids and two thousand sleepless nights later, here are a few of the things I’ve found myself fantasizing about: 

1.  Scotch tape

Just one roll that is mine all mine, that is always in the exact place I left it, instead of under a kid’s bed or inexplicably, buried halfway down the Lego bin. And if am actually able to find the edge where the tape begins, I might just orgasm on the spot.